Define The Problem
- What are you trying to say & why?
- Who are you talking to & why?
- What can you say that the competition can’t & why
- What is your reason for being?
I want to explore how to approach people. Approaching a stranger is a problem that everyone faces at one point or another. I am talking to anyone that wants to overcome the struggle of starting conversation with a stranger. I know that this problem prevents me from doing what I want to do because I do not want to come off as weird or invasive. I am really passionate about finding a solution so I am willing to truly challenge myself in order to find the best solution.
I believe that God put me on this earth for a reason. He desires me to serve Him in different ways. That is my reason for being.
Restructure Your Problem
- Make it more global
- Make it more specific
How do we talk? What is conversation? How do we being conversation? What are the limits of conversation?
How does one approach an attractive person? How does one introduce his or herself to a potential employer? What is the proper way to handle an angry customer? How does a person being to speak to someone who seems like they need help?
Why do we feel uncomfortable?
Why do we avoid approaching people?
Why do we wait for someone to approach us?
Why do we struggle with things to say?
Why do we care about what someone else thinks of us?
Who, What, When, Why, Where, How
- Who: define the individuals/groups involved
- What: define the objects involved
- When: define the timeline
- Why: define the reason for the basic objective
- Where: define the places/locations
- How: define how the situation developed, actions occuring, steps to be taken
Who: Strangers: classmates, church congregation, party goers, people on the street, people in a store, crushes
What: Emotions, reputation, relationships, jobs, friendships
When: We notice someone who sparks our interest. We develop the desire to begin a connection. We then second guess ourselves about beginning a conversation. Why then develop feelings of doubt.
Why: I become extremely awkward in situations where I want to meet someone and I don’t know how to speak to them. I want to overcome this issue.
Where: anywhere and everywhere
How: You spot someone and you have limited time to take action. How exactly is the situation handled? What approach is taken? Is it natural or is it planned? Do you observe the person first or take the same approach no matter who the person is?
Seperate the parts from the whole
Rephrase the Problem
- Change the Words by turning nouns into verbs
- Change the Words by turning verbs into nouns
How do you approach a stranger?
Is an approacher strange?
Is it strange to be approached?
Is the stranger to be approached?
How strange is it to be approached?
How are you approached when it is not strange?
How does a stranger approach you?
Create a word chain
Make it a positive action statement
- Remove all negative words or convert them to make the statement positive.
- The Action: The thing you want to do.
- The Object: A thing you want to change.
- The Qualifier: The kind of change you want.
- The End Result: The result you expect to follow
I want to be able to walk up to any person I want and begin a normal conversation comfortably.
- look for polar opposites and imagine it from that perspective
How will a stranger feel about me just starting conversation with them?
How will I appear if I just start talking to random people?
What if they do not want to be bothered?
How do I go about it without threatening their personal space?
DaVinci’s Multiple Perspectives
- Define the problem from your point of view
- Write the statement from the perspective of at least two other people who are involved
- Synthesize all into a single all-inclusive statement
I want to feel comfortable approaching a stranger.
I don’t want to be annoyed bys strangers.
I don’t want to be left out.
People want to get to know others without crossing boundaries.
Isolate the challenge and dissect in in as many different ways as possible.
- Why is it necessary?
- What is unknown?
- What do you not understand about it?
- What info do you have? Is it sufficient/redundant?
- Can you draw the problem as a diagram?
- What are the boundaries?
- Have you seen the problem before? or something similar?
- What are the best/worst/predictible scenarios?
In order for me to grow as a person and learn more about the world I need to be able to talk to people. I need to feel comfortable when talking to people that I don’t know for career purposes. If I want to network or be taken seriously, I need to able to speak to people the way I do when I am confident.
What is unknown in this situation is how someone who doesn’t know you will react to you approaching them.
Everyone thinks differently. You don’t know a person. You don’t know how they feel. You don’t know their character. You don’t know their personality. You don’t know how they will respond. So every time is a risk. There is no definite answer to what will happen.
Different types of people react differently in different situations. Certain combinations will help or hinder the situation.
This is a problem that many people face. Some people have overcome it. Some people do not face
Think of the problem as:
- A living creature. What would it look like? Draw it.
- Being edible. What would it taste like?
- Being the top of something. What is underneath it?
- Being a color. What color would it be and why?
- Being a sound. How would it sound? Loud or quiet?
- Being a texture. Describe it
- Define something beautiful about it.
A pool cover. The pool cover protects the pool. But you have to take the cover off in order to enjoy the water.
It’s blue. It’s pretty enough to grab your attention. But its subtle enough to blend in the background if you decide to ignore it.
It’s like distant party music. You want to know where the party is, but you weren’t invited. Do you go check it out? Or do you continue on your journey.
It’s like an low electric current. You want to touch it, but your scared. They said it is safe and you see other’s touch it, but you skeptical. However you really really want to feel it.
You can know nothing about this stranger, but you are drawn to them. Why are we so drawn to people we don’t know? Is it destiny? Are we trying to stop something that should naturally exist? Feelings are bigger than our comprehension and I think that is beautiful.